I thought I was finished with blogging and thought I had grown past this stage in my life. As most of you or whomever reads this knows I blogged monthly about what was going on at the time in my life for all of last year may-may. In june and july I landed a job working at an elderly home serving their food or doing whatever needed to be done. I experienced the quality of life that the elderly can experience. I saw it all those who couldn't move or hear or even speak, and i witnessed first hand the need that people have to interact with other people. A simple smile and act of kindness toward them made them smile and genuinely brought them comfort and joy even just for that glimpse of a moment. I worked with the lowest of society those that had rough circumstances and had made poor life choices and had to work for they had no formal education or family to rely upon.
The main thing that working allowed me to learn was that people are there but for a season. Eventually I needed to come to learn the ultimate lesson from God... only HE is always with me.
I am back at college writing for my school paper and learning daily that the Lord is my strength and my comfort He is my provider and guide through every situation.
Yesterday this truth became apparent as my roomate and I were left to wander the streets for over 3hrs walking home from raquetball practice. We were totally lost and in the bad part of town when the Lord walked with us and directed us to find an old civil war map landmark, benefit of being in the south. we read the map and were able to get close to school before nightfall. The only way we made it out of there was with the Lord walking with us.
I have great respect for Jesus and all of the apostles that walked all over europe proclaiming the good news and Gods working. Walking for 3hrs straight allowed me to experience just a glimpse of the physical commitment that the apostles devoted themselves to and allowed me to bask in the glory of Gods creation. The mountainous terrain at times was a disadvantage when walking up hill both ways literally. But in the end I recognized the values of the hills and Gods creation is truly something that I have taken for granted.
Walking with the Lord is a lesson all should experience at some point in their life.
Tonight I was awoken to the need to fully stop trying to understand what was going on in my life. Many trials and just plain confusing things have been happening to me and my friends and I had been at the point of lying awake just thinking about how can I be a better friend and Christian. I know I dont show the Love of Christ as often as I should, sadly I know and recognize that I need to implicate my faith and really act on my faith. If i say I have faith but do not act upon it then what use am I in furthering the kingdom? Tonight the passage of Job was preached upon and I realized that is my life why am i questioning why things happen. why do i think that i even deserve the explanations of why situations are arise all at once in my life.
Walking with the King was my High schools motto the year I graduated. All things in life are circular i am finding out. I had a terrible Jr year of high school, I was depressed and at times suicidal. I was constantly doubting everything I knew and always was feeling alone. I stopped associating with people and just went day to day not making any effort to enjoy the days. I realized that I wanted to come to the place I am at now because I needed to snap out of what I was feeling and this college was easy to be accepted into. When i visited, I walked around for about an hour and really felt drawn to this place.
As you know from previous posts I have had my fair share of doubt about being here but ultimately the Love of Christ and the power of HIS WORD has reassured everything. Tonight was just another one of those nights where God spoke and said let go and truly trust me. I know I can't have it all together all the time and I need God for everything. I need to act upon how i feel about my savior. I walk with God and He walks with me literally. Tonight I gazed upon His creation and prayed for everything I had been trying to control myself. "Lord empty me of me so i can be filled with you" "never once did I ever walk alone"
Philippians 4: 6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
AMEN
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